Courage the Cowardly Dog
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Courage the Cowardly Dog

This article is a transcript of the Courage the Cowardly Dog episode "Ball of Revenge" from season 4, which aired on November 8, 2002.

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Transcript[]

(Daytime at the Bagge farm. In the living room, Muriel sits in her rocking chair, knitting a multicolored patchwork blanket. Courage sits on the floor, watching her. Eustace sits in his chair, covered by a dingy black blanket.)

Muriel: Almost done. I thought the periwinkle yarn would be striking. But, oh, that mellow yellow just makes the blanket.

Eustace: Yellow schmellow! Hurry it up! I'm freezing!

Muriel: And... done! (stands up and holds up the completed blanket)

Eustace: (tosses the dingy blanket away) Come to papa! (reaches for the blanket)

(Muriel spreads the blanket out on the floor.)

Muriel: Here you go.

(Muriel picks up Courage and sets him down on his belly onto the blanket.)

Eustace: Huh?

Courage: (sighs contentedly, then giggles and wiggles around on the blanket)

Muriel: Gorgeous!

Eustace: Muriel, what are you doing? Giving my new blanket to that filthy dog?

(Courage lounges about on the blanket. He stretches and yawns.)

Muriel: Oh, Eustace, you have that perfectly comfy chair to sit in. And what does Courage have? Only a wee blankie.

Eustace: Courage, Courage, Courage. That stupid dog gets all the good stuff around here. I hate that dumb dog! (walks out of the living room)

(Courage stops resting, and his lip quivers. The poor dog's feelings have been hurt.)

Muriel: Oh, don't you fret, Courage. He doesn't hate you. (pets Courage on the head)

Courage: (whimpers sadly)

(Eustace enters the kitchen and walks up to the phone. He picks up the receiver and puts it to his ear.)

Eustace: Time for that dog to git... for good!

Phone Operator: (indistinct chattering over the phone)

Eustace: Operator, I'm gonna need a few numbers. Ha ha ha!

(Later that evening, a light comes from the basement of the Bagge house. In the basement, seated around a table, are a few of Courage's enemies: Cajun Fox, Weremole, Le Quack, Katz, The Black Puddle Queen, and the Clutching Foot. Eustace is seated at the head of the table, wearing a hooded robe.)

Eustace: Well, I'm a man of few words. So, let's just get down to the nitty gritty. What are we here for?

Villains: Revenge!

Eustace: (laughs evilly) And who are we gonna destroy?

Villains: That stupid dog!

(All the villains laugh and cheer while Eustace smirks evilly. A bit later, Muriel and Courage pull up outside in Eustace's truck. A big bag of groceries sits between them on the truck's seat.)

Muriel: It was a good idea to go shopping while Eustace cooled off. (picks up the grocery bag) Now we're all stocked up on your favorite vinegar-dipped liver supreme dog food.

Courage: Ugh! (sticks his tongue out)

(Muriel and Courage enter the house, and go to the dining room with their bags of groceries. The sound of the villains cheering can be heard through the basement door. Muriel walks over to the door, and knocks.)

Muriel: Eustace, what are you doing down there?

Eustace: (opens the door a tiny bit) What?

Muriel: Eustace, what's all the ruckus?

Eustace: What ruckus?

Villains: (off screen) Destroy the stupid dog!

(Courage just looks at Eustace.)

Eustace: Eh...

Cajun Fox: (whispering) Lie, man, lie.

Eustace: That's my friends. It's a men's club. (turns to Courage) And no dogs allowed. (closes the door)

(Courage starts shivering.)

Muriel: Friends?

Eustace: (opens the door again) But you can bring us some sandwiches! (slams the door)

(Eustace walks back downstairs to the villains.)

Le Quack: So, how do we sabotage le dog?

Big Toe: Yeah, what's the plan?

Eustace: The plan is, we kidnap Muriel. That stupid dog will come to her rescue. And we'll have him right where we want him!

Katz: Yes, set a trap. Something cunning, elaborate, over the top.

Pinky Toe: But he's right upstairs. Why don't we just-(Big Toe smacks the second toe, causing the impact to go down the line until it reaches Pinky) Ow! What'd I say? What'd I say?

Eustace: (laughs) Goodbye, stupid dog.

(Several minutes later, Muriel has just finished making a tray of sandwiches. Courage stands on the counter next to a boiling pot of pudding, stirring constantly.)

Muriel: Keep stirring the pudding, Courage, or it'll burn.

(Courage stops stirring for a moment. Smoke starts rising from the pot.)

Muriel: Don't stop stirring no matter what.

(The pudding sizzles a little, and Courage stirs again, sighing. Muriel heads down the stairs to the basement, holding her tray of sandwiches. All the villains quickly hold up newspapers and pretend to read them, covering their faces.)

Muriel: (sets the sandwich tray on the table) Well, everyone help yourself to a finger sandwich.

(Black Puddle Queen reaches over and takes a sandwich, then eats it in one bite. She puts her newspaper back up, but Muriel has already seen her face.)

Muriel: I thought this was a men's club. Eustace!

(Katz covers Muriel in a burlap sack and takes her away. After a moment, the villains have Muriel suspended from the wall. She has been chained by her arms over a boiling cauldron of oil.)

Muriel: This is one of those naughty men's clubs, isn't it?! What have you done with Eustace?!

Big Toe: Forget Eustace, see? We want the dog. Now, get to screaming! You're gonna get us that dog, see?

Muriel: No! I won't do it!

Katz: Allow me.

(Katz is standing next to the washing machine. In front of the washer is a basket full of clothes. He takes a red shirt from the top of the pile of clothes and drops it into the washer. He then takes a white shirt from the hamper, and drops it in, chuckling evilly.)

Muriel: Oh, no. Don't mix the colors.

Katz: (laughs evilly, then takes a jug of bleach and pours it into the washer)

Muriel: Not that! No! No!

(Back upstairs, Courage is still stirring the pudding.)

Muriel: (offscreen, screams in horror)

(Courage opens the basement door and runs down the stairs, still holding and stirring the pot of pudding. When he reaches the bottom, he sees Muriel above the boiling cauldron and screams. The Clutching Foot leaps in from the side and pins Courage under his toes, making Courage drop the pudding.)

Big Toe: Yeah, remember us?

Pinky Toe: Yeah, remember us?

(The remaining five villains step forward to glare at Courage.)

Courage: Oh, no!

Big Toe: You licked us good, see?

Cajun Fox: Cooked us good, too. Remember that?

Muriel: Oh. What are you gonna do to my Courage?

Big Toe: Now we're gonna put the squeeze on you, see?

(Big Toe and his little toes squish Courage. Eustace walks up behind the group to watch.)

Eustace: (laughs evilly)

Courage: (grunts, struggling to get from under the giant foot)

Katz: (kneels down to look Courage in the eye) Ready for a little sport before slow dying, dear boy?

Courage: Uh-uh.

Katz: Let's play... dodgeball! (holds up a red dodgeball)

Courage: (screams)

(The basement goes dark for a moment, then the lights come back on. A basketball court design has been drawn onto the basement floor. Le Quack, now wearing a striped referee shirt, walks into the center of the court, and blows a whistle that is now dangling from his neck.)

Le Quack: (blows whistle) These are the rules. Le ball, she is round. Le loser, he is fini. (laughs)

(Courage stands at one end of the court against, shivering. He is wearing a white jersey with a blue "0" in the center, along with matching shorts, sneakers, and headband.)

Courage: (whimpers)

(Eustace sits on the stairs, holding a hot dog. He laughs at the impending carnage.)

(The other villains walk onto the court, all wearing green uniforms with white numbers on them. Courage shivers more as Katz begins the play. He gets a running start, then throws his ball at Courage. As the ball flies through the air, metal spikes grow from it. At the last second, Courage's head recedes into his body, and the spike ball collides the wall, embedding itself in the bricks. Courage falls to the ground, and his head pops back out.

Weremole holds up a dodgeball, then puts it in his mouth and eats it. Katz is shocked at this.)

Katz: Who invited this unrefined beast?

(Weremole just belches. To the side, the Foot stands while Cajun Fox walks over with a giant spoon. He sets the spoon's handle between Big Toe and the second toe. Cajun Fox pulls some pierogies out of his pocket, and puts them into the spoon.)

Cajun Fox: My spicy Cajun pierogies are known to pack a wallop.

(He leans the spoon back, while the Foot holds it in place. He slingshots the pierogies into Courage's gasping mouth, filling his cheeks. The spice quickly takes effect, causing Courage's eyes to turn red and his cheeks to turn a scorched gray. Steam comes from his ears and nose.)

Eustace: (laughs and eats his hot dog)

(Courage runs around in circles on the court, steam still coming from his babbling mouth. He runs to the basement wall, where a dispenser of Sport Swill sits on a stool. He picks up the container and dumps the green sports drink into his mouth, filling his cheeks.)

Courage: (spitting out the drink) Pooey!

(The Black Puddle Queen rises up out of the puddle of sports drink, holding various sea creatures. Courage screams and jumps out of his sneakers. Puddle Queen throws a jellyfish and some coral, which splat against the wall. She then throws a clam, which hits Courage in the face and ricochets upward. The clam falls back down, clamping onto the top of Courage's head.)

Courage: Ouch!

(Eustace continues pointing and laughing at Courage's misery. The villains do the same. Courage struggles with the clam on his head for a moment, but manages to pop it off and throw it away. He is looking pretty battered at this point.)

Courage: (whimpers)

(Katz walks over to the Foot with lots of dodgeballs in his arms. He sets the balls down in front of Foot. The Foot swings back, and kicks all the balls at Courage. Several of the balls hit Courage in the face and stomach. Suddenly, the buzzer on the washing machine goes off. Courage waves his arms and holds his arms up in a "T".)

Courage: Time out! Time out!

(A whistle blows and Courage runs toward the washing machine. The villains all watch, annoyed at the interruption. Courage picks up a bottle of fabric softener that was sitting next to the washer. He unscrews the cap, fills the cap up with softener and pours the capful into the washer. He screws the cap back on.)

Muriel: Good boy, Courage. Go get 'em!

(Le Quack blows his whistle to resume the game. Weremole has burrowed underground and is tunneling his way towards Courage. He emerges on the other side of the court, next to Courage, and roars.)

Courage: (screams)

(Weremole chomps down onto Courage's head and torso. He starts shaking Courage back and forth like a dog with a chew toy. Le Quack blows his whistle again, and Weremole stops.)

Le Quack: Le halftime.

(The basement gets dark again. A spotlight turns on, revealing the halftime performers: Two of the Duck Brothers on guitars. They play and sing into a mic on a stand.)

Duck Brothers: ♫Halftime show! Halftime show!

Yeah, yeah, whoa, whoa! Halftime show!♫

(Applause can be heard. The Duck Brothers bow and walk away from the spotlight, which closes and darkens the room.

Katz then lights a match as the lights turn back on, and uses it to light the fuse of a cannon. The cannon fires at Courage, who is now more battered and tired. Courage screams, causing the cannonball to enter his mouth. He holds it in his teeth for a moment, but a suction cup dart hits him in the head, causing him to drop the cannonball. More suction darts hits him in the face and chest. Then, a piano falls from the ceiling and lands on top of the poor dog's head. Courage crawls from under the wrecked piano. His eyes are red and bloodshot, patches of fur are gone from his body, and he is missing several teeth.)

Courage: (groaning)

(A water balloon is tossed at Courage, and bursts, drenching him. Several more balloons are thrown, and Courage tries running away, but more hit him. Eventually, Courage collapses on the floor in the puddle of water left by the balloons. He is still conscious, but is panting and exhausted. He sits up and sees the villains are all holding weapons. Katz holds a flamethrower, the Foot has a spiked club between his toes, Cajun Fox has a butcher's cleaver, Puddle Queen is holding a rocket launcher shaped like a sea-snail shell, and Weremole holds up a flyswatter.)

Eustace: Heh heh! Stupid dog! This is it!

(Courage shakily stands up, and whimpers.)

Muriel: Come on, Courage! You can't give up! There must be something you can do better than them.

(Courage looks down at his paws.)

Muriel: Come on, Courage! What can you do?

Courage: (scratches his head, then gets an idea) Mmm!

(Courage takes a step forward and inhales a deep breath, expanding his chest to nearly the size of his whole body. Then, he unleashes his longest scream ever. The whole house shakes from the force of the scream. Cracks start forming in the walls, ceiling, and floor of the basement. )

Eustace: (clinging to the stairs) Stupid dog! What are you doing?!

(The villains either cover their ears or cringe in pain from the screaming. Weremole sees one of Puddle Queen's giant clams, hops inside, and closes it. The boiling cauldron underneath Muriel cracks apart, and breaks. The oil douses the flames beneath it, and spreads across the floor. )

Muriel: Ooh!

(Courage falls to his knees and tears the jersey from his body, but he continues to scream. More cracks form in the ground, and the villains start losing their footing. After a few seconds, the ground underneath the villains gives way and collapses, causing the villains to fall into the newly created chasm. The basement stairs fall apart as well, causing Eustace to fall to the floor. Finally, after 41 seconds, Courage stops screaming. He sighs then collapses onto the floor, sweaty and exhausted, but victorious. The shackles securing Muriel to the wall crumble and break, allowing Muriel to fall off the wall and land on her bottom.)

Muriel: Oh!

(The timer on the washing machine buzzes. Muriel rushes past Courage to the machine, and sets the dial to "Gentle." The laundry is saved.)

Muriel: (wipes her brow and sighs deeply) Oh, my! (runs over to Courage) Courage, what big lungs you have. The winner! (lifts him up by the arm in a victory pose)

Courage: (laughs deliriously and waves to the audience)

(Muriel cuddles Courage close to her. Eustace sits up from the remains of the basement stairs. He is greeted by a miffed Muriel, holding her injured dog in one arm.)

Muriel: "Men's club," eh?

Eustace: (chuckles nervously) Oh. Hello, Muriel...

(Muriel hits him on the head with her rolling pin.)

Eustace: Ow! What'd I do?

(Much later at night, Muriel, Eustace, and Courage are in the living room. Muriel is folding a blanket, but pauses to look over at Eustace.)

Muriel: Well, I hope you're happy now, Eustace.

(The camera zooms out to show Courage, covered in bandages and in a leg cast, is sitting in Eustace's chair. Eustace is curled up on his elbows and knees on Courage's blanket.)

Eustace: (grumbles angrily) Stupid dog!

(Courage presses a button on the remote control, and the TV turns on. Freaky Fred is on the screen, holding a running electric razor.)

Fred: Courage...

(Cut to outside of the Bagge Farm. Courage screams again, causing the upper half of the house to pop off of the bottom half. When the top half comes back down, it crushes the foundation of the house.)

Schwick: How's that for menace?

THE END

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