|'#62 – '#62 / #31.5 – Conway the Contaminationist|
| Season 3, Episode 5, Part 2|
|Air date:||June 14, 2002|
|Directed by:||John R. Dilworth|
|Written by:||Craig Shemin|
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|Read this episode's transcript|
As Muriel is cleaning the farmhouse, she looks outside the window and sees white pages falling from the sky. Courage thinks it's snow, but he soon finds out that the pages are leaflets that read "Live Longer, Live Better." The culprit of these mysterious pages is an airplane, piloted by an alien with green lumpy skin, is emitting smoke and skywriting the same quote. As he finishes, his plane begins to stall. He flies dangerously low to the ground, almost hitting Courage, and crashes into the windmill.
Muriel comes to tend to the bizarre figure in the plane, who tells her he wants sludge. Courage grabs a jar and picks sludge from the drains, rain gutters, and even Eustace's feet. He gives the jar to the man and he drinks it, becoming good as new. The character introduces himself as Conway, and tells the Bagges that living in pure filth will make them live longer. He manages to reverse the vacuum cleaner Muriel is using, which emits all of the dust it stored into the living room. During this, he says "out with the good air, in with the bad". He convinces them that they will get used to it, eventually, and that he thinks it's better for their health. But he ups the ante, as he soon has Muriel bathing in sludge. When Courage intervenes, Conway stops him, saying that living in filth is better.
Eventually, the farmhouse is full of filth, trash, and sludge, which a weak, dirty, and frail looking Muriel and Eustace are buried under, while Courage is still healthy and clean. After Conway releases a toxic fume into the living room, making matters worse, Courage takes a look outside and notices that the hazmat team has put the farmhouse on quarantine, because of all the filth. Courage installs a doggie door on the front door, so he can escape and figure out a plan to clean up the farmhouse in a timely manner. He decides to take Conway's old airplane and put a large red balloon on the exhaust in order to make a large, highly effective vacuum cleaner. He points it towards the door and sucks Conway in, as well as all the dust. Eventually, the farmhouse is clean again, Eustace and Muriel become healthy, and Conway enjoys living in the vacuum cleaner.
- It is unknown what Conway really is; he could actually be a 193 year old man like he claims to be. However, due to his alien-like appearance, which resembles Zoidberg from Futurama, it's more likely that Conway is an alien disguising as a human, who comes from a planet where filth is healthy to its citizens.