Courage the Cowardly Dog
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Courage the Cowardly Dog

Courage:”Ugh! I hate the perfect one of all!”

(MUTTERING)

(COURAGE GASPS)

Huh? Stupid dog!

You did it wrong!

Just like you painted the chicken coop wrong.

And you did a lousy job repairing the windmill.

You can't do nothing right, you amateur!

You ought to go to right-thing-doing school.

Someone who'll make you perfect!

(WHIMPERS)

MURIEL: Eustace!

Package for you.

I think it's that bugle.

My bugle! Yeah.

(COURAGE GROANS)

(LAUGHS)

-(PLAYS TUNELESSLY) - Ooh!

Wha...

Ah!

Gonna fix this thing right up.

(LAUGHS)

Meantime, you oil the boiler.

And do it right!

-(PLAYS TUNELESSLY) -(GASPS)

(LAUGHS)

Courage, why don't you come help me make baklava?

I've never made it before.

(enemas)

Remember, Courage.

It's supposed to be thin, crisp, and lighter than air.

Mmm-hmm.

Lighter than air.

Huh?

Oh, well. Don't worry, Courage.

This time you crush the nuts and I'll bread the fish.

(HUMMING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS LOUDLY)

(YELPS)

Aw, Courage.

That table wasn't very sturdy, was it?

Go get Eustace and I'll tidy up.

(GASPS)

You are a disgrace!

(SCREAMS)

What's wrong, Courage?

(PANICKED WHIMPERING)

I don't see anything.

(PANICKED WHIMPERING)

(GROWLS)

(WHINES)

All right.

I'll go fetch Eustace and you tidy up.

TEACHER: That is no way to stand.

Ow'.!

I want to see perfect posture.

Shoulders back, chin out, ears up, and walk.

Eyes ahead. Even steps.

No, no, no.

Can you walk correctly?

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

(GRUNTS)

If those books stay in place, you're walking perfectly.

Go!

(STRAINING)

You're not the least bit perfect!

(WHINES)

Can you speak correctly?

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Now, repeat after me, and do it perfectly.

"The turkey in Albuquerque is positively perky."

(RECITING UNINTELLIGIBLY)

No, no.

I said perfectly!

Now, try again.

(ENUNCIATING) "The turkey!"

(REPEATING UNINTELLIGIBLY)

I want a perfect "ur."

(ENUNCIATES) Ur!

(STRAINS) Ur!

(ENUNCIATES) Ur!

(STRAINS) Ur!

Your speech is abominable!

Your walking is a disgrace!

(WHINES)

Let's see if you can make something perfectly.

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Observe each detail of the drawing and your tower will be...

Perfect!

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Look at the work of another of my pupils.

A perfect pupil.

Wens)

(LAUGHS)

I'm perfect!

As you can see,

yours is decidedly

not perfect!

(GASPS)

It's late.

We have a lot to cover tomorrow.

So your last assignment of the day is

go to bed and sleep perfectly.

Can you do that?

(BOTH SNORING)

(SNORING)

(ECHOING) You're not perfect...

(SCREAMS)

(WHIMPERING)

wens)

(SNORING)

(BUZZING)

(BUZZING)

(BUZZING)

(VOICE CACKLING)

-(COURAGE SCREAMING) - MURIEL AND EUSTACE: Oh!

(WHINES)

(MURIEL AND EUSTACE SNORING)

(COURAGE SNORING)

(SCREAMING)

(WHIMPERING)

- Stupid dog! -(GRUNTS)

(SNORING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Oh!

(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

-(BUZZING) -(SCREAMING)

(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)

(SNORING)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

(SHATTERING)

-(SCREAMING) -(SHATTERING)

(SCREAMING)

(EUSTACE GRUNTS)

(THUD)

(GROANING)

(ROOSTER CROWING)

(YAWNING)

(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)

(GROANS)

You're late!

(GROANING)

Be perfectly quiet!

Sit up straight!

There is going to be a surprise final exam today.

(BABBLING)

If you don't get a perfect score on this exam,

there will be consequences.

Everywhere you go for the rest of your life,

everyone will know that you're

imperfect!

(WHIMPERS INQUIRINGLY)

You have to go to the bathroom?

Mmm-hmm.

Make it quick.

While you're there, practice brushing your teeth.

Do it perfectly.

MALE VOICE: There's no such thing as perfect.

Huh?

You're beautiful as you are, Courage.

With all your imperfections, you can do anything.

(GASPS)

Would you like to try some baklava, Courage?

It's more like gum, really.

But you can blow the sweetest bubbles.

Oh!

(LAUGHS)

(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)

(LAUGHS) I'm gonna start me own band of cracked horns.

Yay!

And now for your final examination, draw a perfect number six.

(GASPS)

Time's up!

I don't see a six here!

(enemas)

(SCREAMING)

That's not perfect!

(VOICE DISTORTING) You rotten, imperfect dog.

Now you'll never reach the perfect

level of perfection...

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)

Mmm.

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

PERFECT!

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