Courage the Cowardly Dog
Courage the Cowardly Dog

This article is a transcript of the Courage the Cowardly Dog episode "The Ride of the Valkyries" from season , which aired on June 7, 2002.

This transcript is

(It is early morning on a forested fjord in Norway. High above the sea on the outskirts of the forest is a little cabin. Muriel and Courage step outside. They're both wearing horned Valkyrie helmets.)

Muriel: Isn't our Norwegian holiday off to an exciting start, Courage? (opens guidebook) According to the guidebook, some of Norway's most beautiful birds come to feed at this very spot.

Courage: (whines)

Muriel: (pulls out binoculars and looks through them) Look!

(A Norwegian Blue bird flies down and lands in the grass. He walks over to a rock and takes a seat, while Muriel and Courage hide behind a log nearby.)

Muriel: (reading the guidebook again) According to the book, we're looking at the Norwegian Blue. In olden times, they believed this bird soared with the Valkyries, fierce warriors who wore helmets just like ours.

(The bird pulls out a red metal lunch box and opens it up. It's full of seeds and a thermos. He takes a handful of seeds, tosses them on the ground, and starts pecking them up rapidly.)

Muriel: He's feeding!

Norwegian Blue: (laughs stupidly; his face is covered in seeds)

(Back in the cabin, Eustace, wearing a Valkyrie helmet with the price tag still on it, is watching tv. It's a black and white Western movie, but it's not in English.)

Cowboy: (speaking Norwegian)

Familiar Cowboy: Dokey-okey, boycow.

Eustace: Idiot TV! Talk normal! (kicks and breaks the TV, then exits the cabin) Muriel! TV's broken!

Muriel: Shh!

Eustace: This place stinks! And this hat stinks, too! (takes off his helmet and throws it)

Norwegian Blue: (helmet lands on his head) Ow! Duh... Hey! (flies over to Eustace)

Eustace: (grumbling; the bird sits on his head) Huh?

(The bird chuckles and lays an egg on Eustace's head.)

Eustace: Hey!

Muriel: (watching through the binoculars, then consults the guidebook) Nothing here about this.

Eustace: (the egg hatches; 3 baby Norwegian Blues pop out) What's... Huh?

(The baby birds peck Eustace over and over. Eustace grunts and yells while trying to swat them away. He flails and tries to move away from them, which sends him falling down the cliff and into the sea.)

Muriel: I suppose that's what you get for scaring a Norwegian Blue.

(The Norwegian Blue, still with the helmet on, is flying away above the clouds.)

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho!

(The random voices cause the bird to pause and hover for a moment. Then, the Valkyries zoom by, causing the bird to spin until he gets dizzy.)

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho! Yo-tow-ho!

Norwegian Blue: Where did he go? Uh...

(One by one, the Valkyries land on a nearby cliff and dismount their horses.)

Siergrune: Yo-tow-ho, Elka!

Elsa: Yo-tow-ho, Frieda!

Frieda: Yo-tow-ho, Siegrune!

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho! Yo-tow-ho!

Frieda: Ready, my Valkyrie sisters?

Elka: Did you find our sister, Brunhilde?

Frieda: I could not spy our sister, did you?

Siegrune: I could not find our sister, boo-hoo

Valkyries: Our sister, our leader,

is lost, alas

What shall we do?

Boo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo


(The Valkyries continue lamenting their loss. Several feet away, a familiar deity is taking a nap with his "wife" in the clouds. The singing wakes him up.)

Goose God: Ladies. Ladies! Truckie and I are trying to sleep. (honks twice)

Valkyries: Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo.

(The Norwegian Blue walks up to the Valkyries.)

Frieda: Alack! What be this?

Elka: What be this that I see?

(Shatana takes the helmet from the bird's head.)

Norwegian Blue: Huh?

Siegrune: The helmet of our sister!

Frieda: Oh, wherefore you have found her?

Valkyries: Oh, wherefore, do tell,

where our sister doth be?

Oh, wherefore, do tell,

where our sister doth be?

Norwegian Blue: (laughs and holds his face) Oh, no. Huh? Duh.

Elka: Wait!

While boldly through the clouds

I see that the steed did go

I thought I did spy it far

Flying from the glade below

Valkyries: The glade below

The glade below

Elka: And to that glade to save our sister, I shall go!

(Elka leaps onto her horse. It neighs and flies off in the direction she saw the bird coming from. Back at the fjord, Eustace is climbing back up the cliff. He's dripping wet, covered in seaweed, and has lumps on his head from the pecking.)

Eustace: (grunts as he climbs) Lousy stinking fjord!

Elka: Yo-tow-ho!

Eustace: What?

(Eustace looks up to see Elka and her horse flying down to land near the cabin. Eustace climbs the rest of the way up and walks up behind the horse.)

Eustace: Who the heck are you?

(The horse bucks with its hind legs, sending the farmer back over the cliff. Inside the cabin, Muriel is making a pot of soup while Courage chews on one of the horns of his Valkyrie helmet. There is a loud banging on the door and he stops.)

Muriel: Could you get that, Courage? I can't leave my soup.

(The banging on the door continues until Courage opens the door to see Elka.)

Elka: Yo-tow-ho!

(Courage closes the door in her face. Elka punches a hole through the door, showing that she has "LOVE" tattooed on her fingers. She grabs Courage through the hole, and starts punching him. We don't see it, but we can hear Courage grunting and blows landing on the other side of the door. Then, Elka kicks the door to pieces, enters the cabin, and drops Courage on the floor.)

Elka: Brunhilde, dear sister

Praise the gods I have found you! (picks Muriel up by the shoulders)

Come back to your home in the sky!

Muriel: (giggles)

(Elka carries Muriel out of the cabin and toward her horse.)

Muriel: I thought the Meet the Valkyries Pageant was tomorrow!

Courage: (gasps)

Muriel: Oh, Courage, this tour package is packed with surprises!

(Elka and Muriel begin galloping away.)

Courage: Aaaagh!

(The horse takes a flying leap away from the cliff. Courage jumps after it and clings to its tail.)

Elka: Yo-tow-ho!

Muriel: Whee!

Courage: (looks down at the ground far below them; screams)

(The group ride over a rainbow to the Valkyries' home in the clouds. Cut to later in the dining hall. The Valkyries and Muriel, now dressed like them, are having a dinner of moose and wine. They raise their goblets in a toast.)

All: Yo-tow-ho! Yo-tow-ho!

(Courage peeks from behind a wooden pillar.)

Frieda: Hail to Brunhilde!

Elka: Oh, we have found you.

Siegrune: How could you leave

on the eve of our battle? (slams her fist onto the table, rocking her drink)

Valkyries: Hail, hail! (raise their goblets again)

Muriel: Could you pass me a little more moose, Frieda? A leg, if you would.

Frieda: (setting down her goblet) Now, let us rest.

Elka: For soon, we must attack!

Siegrune: Attack the trolls!

Valkyries: The brutal trolls!

The evil trolls! (slam their fists onto the table, knocking the food and drinks everywhere)

The vicious trolls!

So, let us rest

and eat no more

And then to war!

Muriel: Oh, this is all so authentic.

All: To war! (The Valkyries brandish their swords, Muriel brandishes her moose leg)

Courage: Oh, no!

(Later that night, the Valkyries and Muriel are in their Stonehenge style bedroom, sleeping on stone slabs around a fire. Courage creeps in and tiptoes his way across the room towards Muriel. She is still away and fiddling with the braid on her helmet.)

Muriel: To war, to war... (Courage creeps up to her and pulls on her arm) Oh, Courage, isn't it exciting? I get to be in a make-believe battle! And we get the cutest little toy weapons. (picks up a battleaxe; struggles with its weight) Oh!

Courage: Ahhh! (ducks from Muriel's swing, the battleaxe shears off the fur on top of his head)

Muriel: Oh, my! (swings the axe around and slams it into one of the stone pillars)

(One by one, the stone pillars topple over like dominoes. The loud crashing wakes up the Valkyries.)

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho!

(They approach Muriel, who has fallen over, and a cowering Courage.)

Siegrune: A spy! (grabs Courage by the throat)

Courage: (choking and gagging)

Valkyries: A spy! A spy from the trolls!

(The other two Valkyries punch and slap Courage until Shatana releases her grip.)

Muriel: (trying to move her helmet our of her eyes) Play nice now, Courage.

Valkyries: Bear this message to your troll king!

(Frieda gives Courage a flying punch.)

Courage: Argh!

(Elka jumps behind him and slams her fists down onto him.)

Valkyries: Spy! And now, oh spy, goodbye!

(Elka picks Courage up by the ears, and the other two Valkyries kick him out of the window.)

Courage: (falling through the clouds) Ahhh! (lands in a muddy swamp; groans in pain)

(Unfortunately, Courage has landed in front of a trio of trolls. They carry spiked clubs.)

Troll 1: (growls) Who sneaks up on our troll council?

Courage: (screams)

(The troll yanks Courage out of the mud by his ears.)

Troll 1: A spy from the Valkyries!

Other Trolls: Crumple the spy! Crumple the spy!

(A few minutes later, one of the trolls is roasting Courage over a fire, rotisserie style. The other trolls rub their hands and lick their lips. But, they are interrupted by a sound.)

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho!

(The Valkyries and Muriel are riding their flying horses towards the trolls. They are all brandishing battleaxes.)

Troll 2: Ah! The Valkyries!

(The trolls grab their spiked clubs and run towards the intruders, leaving Courage on the roasting spit.)

Trolls: Crumple the Valkyries! Crumple the Valkyries!

Valkyries: Crumple the trolls! Crumple the trolls!

Muriel: (giggles) How exciting! (drops her battleaxe) Oops.

(Muriel's horse comes to a stop and sends her flying forward. She lands in front of the three trolls.)

Trolls: Crumble the Valkyries!

Courage: Ahhh! (gets loose from his ropes and leaps over to Muriel; He pushes her out of the way of the troll's club)

(Courage picks Muriel up over his head and starts running up the mountain path with her.)

Valkyries: He has stolen our leader! (ride their horses after them)

Trolls: (chasing the Valkyries) Crumple the Valkyries!

(Courage continues to run, panting, up the path until he reaches a cave entrance. He pauses to see the Valkyries and trolls following them.)

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho!

Trolls: Crumple the Valkyries!

Courage: Ahhh!

(Courage enters the cave with Muriel. He doesn't pay attention to where he's going and runs into a curtained doorway. He and Muriel get tangled up in the curtain and rip it from the entrance.)

Muriel: Oh! Oh, my!

Courage: (grunting)

(He and Muriel get out from under the curtain and see Brunhilde and the Troll King, holding hands under a spotlight. Flowers are raining down on them.)

Brunhilde: Please tell no one

I love the Troll King.

Troll King: Please tell no one

I love the Valkyrie.

Both: (embracing each other) Our love

that dare not speak its name!

Muriel: Isn't that touching?

(Back outside, the Valkyries have arrived at the cave. The entrance is smaller than they are, but they effortlessly smash through the rock to get inside.)

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho!

(The trolls follow them in, snarling. Cut to back inside the cave.)

Muriel: Please go on, young lovers.

Troll King: She's large, I'm warty.

Brunhilde: He's petite, I'm husky. (picks him up with one hand)

(The trolls snarling and the Valkyries' battle cry can be heard outside. They are coming towards the group.)

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho!

Courage: (gasps, then babbles and flaps his arms in panic)

Troll King: The Valkyries hate the trolls, yet she loves me.

Brunhilde: The trolls hate Valkyries, yet I love he!

Both: Whatever shall we do?

What shall we do?

What shall we do, do, do, do, do?

Valkyries Yo-tow-ho!

Courage: (hops around babbling and pointing at the entrance, then stops and smiles)

(Courage darts off to put his idea into motion. The Valkyries and the trolls arrive at the secret chamber.)

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho! Yo-tow-ho!

(Organ music starts to play. The Valkyries and trolls are stunned at what they see. Brunhilde and Troll King are hand in hand in front of Courage, who is dressed as a priest. He reads from a large book. Muriel stands off to the side to watch.)

Courage: (faces the Troll King and babbles a question)

Troll King: I do!

Courage: (faces Brunhilde and babbles a question)

Brunhilde: I do!

Courage: (babbles again, and makes a kissing noise)

(Brunhilde and Troll King kiss. They are now married.)

Valkyries: Love! (toss away their weapons)

Trolls: ♫Love! (toss away their weapons, then run over to hug the Valkyries)

All: Love doth conquer all!

Muriel: (voice breaking) Oh, Courage, don't you love weddings?

Courage: (sighs happily)

Troll: Our joy would be increased if you'd join us for a feast.

Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho! A feast!

All: As love doth rise,

As love doth rise,

As love doth rise like yeast!

Courage: Roo-roo roo roo roo!

(Cut to the swamp at the roasting spit. The Norwegian Blue has tied Eustace to the spit and is cooking him.)

Norwegian Blue: Duh.

Eustace: Stupid bird.

Norwegian Blue: (giggles stupidly)

(Iris out.)


Valkyries: Yo-tow-ho!